In my work towards an inner peace and a healthy spirit, I’ve come to see God in a new light. Associating with God does not mean associating with a religion, and associating with a religion does not mean associating with the dogma of a religion.
God is not a thing or a person, the closest word I can use to describe him in reasonable terms is as a concept. He (it, she, they) represents what is unknown in our lives. He is everything I can’t describe using words, and everything I feel that can’t be explained with reason.
Faith in God requires a subordination of reason, because God cannot be explained in reasonable terms. My belief in God stems from a dissatisfaction with philosophy and science as a way to put life in context. God is the answer to all doubt and gives meaning to life otherwise aimless.
I am worried about my future and the state of my soul, but by simply putting faith in God, my worries disassemble and I can peaceably go on my way without getting bogged down by endless political/philisophical/scientific debate.
Once I stop worrying about my place in the world and just believe that I have a place, I can start to do my work. Without constant speculation about the higher meaning of my actions, I can put my head down and truly explore my connection to the earth and define myself by cutting a path through life.
I can now get over the modern stigma against religion, and embrace it as a community that shares the same fundamental belief that I do: faith in God without reason. The community reminds me that my life is more positive when I stop contemplating utopia and start letting God positively guide my actions. As we are faced with decisions, we can all instinctively judge between right and wrong, and it is faith in God that allows that feeling inside of us to guide our actions.
If you don’t already, try putting faith in God as an experiment. See if it is effective in curbing your doubts and anxiety. See if you can find meaning in your life by ending the aimless search for meaning in your life. Try not to be distracted by forces that make you question yourself and try putting faith in God as a answer your doubts.

I’m sick of this concrete
I wanna feel natures feet
walk a street made of peat
So I can speak a beat so sweet
it’ll make you knees feel weak
can’t sleep

Just dream
Cause I’m holier then a light beam
So don’t fear my regime
Just join the team
and follow the word stream

Supreme, like the mother who made us
gave us lust, trust, motherfucking dust
which is what become
nothing but numb and dumb
when we ignore the war drum

That inevitable rhythm
that marks the human condition
perverse tradition
based in illogical cognition
So I’m on a mission

To change, rearrange your brain
teach you the rules of the game
to be fluid like the rain
and obtain the arcane

There exist two opposing states: existence, in all of its unlimited possibility; and nothingness. All of existence comes from the nothingness.

In our struggle to come to terms with our own existence and that which exists in context, we can easily see our observations, emotions and the day to day occurrences themselves as having some greater meaning, fitting into some pre-existing patchwork explaining everything. Many people find this meaning in religious teachings, and many other people piece together a meaning of their own from an ever expanding and increasingly easy to access collection of human knowledge (the internet, books, etc).

What makes us Human and different from other animals is the written and spoken language, which allows us to communicate to each other, among other things, these far reaching and personally significant meanings in and of life. Part of that requires these meanings and statements of value, retellings of experience or emotions to take on greater significance and weight, thus having the effect of making the words themselves more real than the existence or experience itself. This is the point at which people’s words effect each other very easily, when language used triggers memories and seeming relevencies that allow the listener or reader to feel a shared sense of whatever is being described. What many people do not keep in mind is that the words used are not the experience, nor are they the existence.

When we observe the “outside world”, we look for what we can recognize or make sense of. By contrast, what we cannot recognize or make sense of can hardly be observed at all in that we do not possess he experiences that would allow for the recognition of significance to occur. Thus, when new things happen (as they do every day), it is decidedly easier to attribute them to an imagined pattern or see them as part of a series of events. This is not incorrect, it is a part of what makes us and allows us to be human. But the recognition of the pattern is an act of creation out of nothingness, just like the use of language to describe meaning.

This can be likened to the drawing of complex patterns or geometric structures on graph paper. What exists is the graph paper, and on it we impose patterns that we “see”. By “seeing” the pattern, and especially by drawing it, we are participating in the act of creation by pulling something out of the nothingness. Infinite possibilities of patterns or non-patterns can be imposed upon a sheet of graph paper, but ultimately what exists is the grid and the imagination that sees designs in the grid, connecting the dots and lines as a mirror like expression of itself.

Top-down brain function refers to the ability of higher functions of the brain being able to control/ effect the lower functions of our brain.

This is probably the easiest way to distinguish why humans are fundamentally different then animals in terms of brain function. Animals in general are almost entirely slaves to classical conditioning. The environment effects them, they produce conditioned responses to their environment based on need and that is pretty much the end of it. Humans, while still very much susceptible to conditioning, as is seen particularly in casinos that condition people with constant positive reinforcement by displaying people winning money, yet we are not entirely slaves to our environment. Humans have the ability to use higher brain functions as a way of potentially determining what they want to do with the environmental information they receive. In addition to this we have the ability to use our brains to entirely create totally internal conditioning processes. This higher brain function is what allows us in the end to shape our minds (with a few restrictions perhaps) into what we want them to be.

Commonly referred to as metaprograming this process is the essential process to human progress in the future. The only problem with this process is that it requires a tremendous amount of discipline to take full advantages of such features of our brain. Because of this I believe that next step in intelligent evolution revolves around this concept. The next step being that of our brain becoming more susceptible to internal conditioning making it easier for a brain to mold itself quickly and effectively.

These types of recursive processes is what is essential in the universe. The advent of the ability for an object to learn and eventually change the very nature of itself seems to be in some way or another to be the purpose of existence and even suggests that anything, large or small could gain this ability or has some intrinsic ability to do this already. Perhaps this is the essence of will or even the essence of the universe.

More study on this is needed for sure.

How can I be more like myself?

It seems to me that there is always a gap between what kind of person that I think I should be and how I acctually act. While it is essentially human to have ideas of what kind of person one should be (second order volition) I always feel as if I am not doing enough to become the person I really want to be. Whenever I do take steps in the “right” direction I find myself happier, more motivated, and more at peace with myself. When I do not I feel stressed and shitty like I am wasting my life and that I will amount to nothing.

While I am ofttimes content with the person that I am I always have this lingering feeling that I am weak willed and do not try enough to pursue what I am interested in being. I find this hard to accept as part of my vision of myself does not include being a weak willed person. This is where my problem lies. How can a person with strong ambitions be weak willed and still accomplish all that they want to? I don’t think they can.

Perhaps this is a sign to step back, re-evaluate and then set off again.

The journey is hard. But it is in the journey that we find strength to travel.