It is a generally accepted fact time seems to get faster as one gets older, perhaps the explanation for this lies in the theory of relativity. According to relativity, nothing is absolute and all judgments of measurement (length etc.) are based upon comparisons (an inch is shorter than a foot, but what’s an inch by itself?). One’s life is all the time one knows and thus is the only basis of comparison for making a judgment on the length of time. So when you’re 1, a month is 8% of your entire life, and hence seems to be a very long period of time. But when you’re 20 a month is only .4% of your life and thus seems much shorter than it did when you were young. This would account for why time seems to get faster as you get older, each individual moment seems less compared to how long you’ve lived.

When you die and your life is complete, you have only lived a lifetime. You have nothing to compare it to so it is simply a lifetime in length. A child who dies, a teenager, an adult, they all lived a lifetime. To each individual the length of existence seems the same, because it is all the time that they’ll ever know. It is total and complete. It is a lifetime.

There are two exclusive possibilities at this point:

1) stay with girl. have dependable relationship. have love when it cannot be found anywhere else. remain closed off to other possibilities.

2) break up with girl. enter uncertain world of greater possibilities. open myself up more to the school that I am attending.

i went back and forth on this for a long time, then finally settled into being comfortable in the relationship. however, the thought came up again yesterday while we were together. I haven’t been able to shake it.

is the fact that I am still going back and forth enough to make change happen?

I like the comfort that this relationship provides, but when I think about the future in any regard, I get scared about the possibility of still being in this position, not having let things change with time.

What is the taoist approach to this? I’ve been trying to decide.

THE NEXT DAY-

I think I have decided what the taoist approach is, and I agree with it. The answer is to practice not doing, to be patient, like eternity, and allow events to take their course. I must remember these things! I think it’s funny upon reflection that I continually go in and out of accordance with the Tao. I think I do it subconsciously, just so that I can be satisfied again and again by the wisdom of the Tao. It replenishes me, I forget about it or am distracted from it, then I use it to get myself out of depression and angst. It works every time.

After you first lose sight of your goals there is uncertain amount of time before they come back to you.
There are a couple of different ways to reflect on this.
At first thought, I felt undisciplined because it was not a high priority of mine to keep a constant awareness of my goals, but soon there after I realized that my reflections were not correctly focused. The time of awareness of goals is not as important as the time in between the awareness of them. You can’t achieve goals while concentrating on prioritizing your goals. It is the time in between that is worth reflecting on because it is a more accurate judge of hoe you actually live your life.
It is something when you achieve your goals without the conciouse awareness of them.
The cycle that my life is attuned to left I’d say 2 weeks inbetween the last time I was hyper aware of my goals and the time of this post. In that time, I have lived closer to my ideal than ever before. Far from perfect, but it leaves plenty to work on during my next cycle. And the best part about it is that I don’t even have to do anything. I just have to live my life and hope that my training has been and will be positive.
Some times are meant for reflection, some are meant to plan for the future, but most are to be lived in the present. I gotta say, all three are pretty damned neat.

Sitting on the toilet, thinking of all of you.
Can’t wait to see those of you who I will see, sorry I won’t be seeing those of you that I won’t see.
Just letting you all know- I love you, and I am thinking positively of you.

No matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year, just remember, its all about love. Positive thoughts, happiness, and being redeemed.

Tookie was killed yesterday, for crimes he claimed he didn’t commit. He started the crips, and in jail he seeked redemption by founding an anti-gang activist group. Still, the country executed him, quite ritualistically.

Let’s all reflect, and realize that in our personal lives we all can spread love and forgiveness, even if the state refuses to. For them, the holiday is about buying and $elling. For us, it’s about LIVING.

The funny thing about learning about youself is that you realize more and more how much you are different than other people. We are all the same and all that stuff yadda yadda, but I find things out about myself everyday that make me unique. Everyday I become more different than the people around me, and even though I feel as though I understand them more, there is still estrangement. It is as though I am looking at the world through a magnifying glass, and as I learn the glass enlarger my image, but as a negative consequence the glass gets thicker, further separating me from my surroudnings.
The other day my roomate called me out for trying to impose my ideals on the house. She agreed that my idea made sense, but she just didn’t even want to bother to do it so would not agree to the system. (Splitting up and labeling our silverware, so that you coulnd’t leave your dirty dishes for other people)
When I have a good idea that seems to benefit everybody, I assume that others would easily be in favor of it. It’s a fundamental error that I probably make every day without realizing it.
I really can’t speak for other people because I tend to be the prover that proves what the thinker thinks.
I thought she was crazy for not wanting to take responsibility for her dishes, but I gotta remember that I have my own preferences too, and I wouldn’t want them compromized now would i?