How to stand up to the issues that plague humanity and return to basics?
It is possible? Has there ever been a humanity without issues? Has there ever even been one human without issues? Why do expect things to get better? How come we try and avoid the apocalypse? It’s always been coming, always been just around the corner, and always been the end of human suffering (or just the beginning depending on how you see things).
Why do I stop myself from living a hedonistic lifestyle? Why don’t I rape any pretty little thing that comes my way? Why don’t I shit on my friends and family, and steal from the poor? I mean why not? None of that shit will matter in a just a little while anyway.
Do I try and life a morally upstanding and ‘good’ life so that I can condescend over the masses? Is it because I like to feel better than everybody else around me? Maybe, maybe not. I get satisfaction out of being good…sometimes. But you know all that shit about nice guys finish last, and no good dead goes unpunished, so why put up with it all? Maybe in order to truely live good, we have to be bad, abandon morals, do drugs and steal from women and children. I mean morality hasn’t gotten us anywhere yet, so why not try a different approach?
Who wins in a fight between God and the Devil? Neither have won yet, so I’m not going to stake my life on either one until it’s conclusively decided. I’m going to win by playing God and the Devil against eachother, once they’re busy fighting eachother I can come in and seize power. Then I’ll relinquish the power when it feels right to save my soul.
I’m sure everyone remembers Bart Simpson who made us all realize that we can all get into heaven even after a life of sin as long as we redeem ourselves before we die. Maybe, maybe not.

Watch the city to turn it to flames
Bubbling energy turns to games
Destruction as creation
Silently storms the imagination

A chaotic system placed in mind
Opposites that occupy the same state
of similar quality but of different kind
That sit and wait
Unable to change the waiter’s fate

The waiter waits, and waits and waits
Eyes staring at the city gate
Intensely focused on fire and ice
But all that he can create is advice.

“Don’t waste your life waiting”
He thought still debating
What to do now that he was done with his waiting

So down he walked to the bottom the hill
And snow fell new and fresh
So he lit up a joint and sucked in his fill
Until the chaos began to mesh

He held up his joint and covered the city
With embers smoldering at the gate
As snow fell and fell without pity
Until the entire city felt its fate

The city burned in snow as the waiter laughed
Convinced that he had won at last
But his triumph was all too soon past
As the time that time takes is often too fast.

His joint went out.
He turned about.
He climbed up his hill
And went right on waiting
Waiting till waiting was filled once more.

How can I be more like myself?

It seems to me that there is always a gap between what kind of person that I think I should be and how I acctually act. While it is essentially human to have ideas of what kind of person one should be (second order volition) I always feel as if I am not doing enough to become the person I really want to be. Whenever I do take steps in the “right” direction I find myself happier, more motivated, and more at peace with myself. When I do not I feel stressed and shitty like I am wasting my life and that I will amount to nothing.

While I am ofttimes content with the person that I am I always have this lingering feeling that I am weak willed and do not try enough to pursue what I am interested in being. I find this hard to accept as part of my vision of myself does not include being a weak willed person. This is where my problem lies. How can a person with strong ambitions be weak willed and still accomplish all that they want to? I don’t think they can.

Perhaps this is a sign to step back, re-evaluate and then set off again.

The journey is hard. But it is in the journey that we find strength to travel.

I haven’t even watched the state of the union. You know why? Because I already know what state the union is in- FUCKED. If Gore, who won the majority of votes, was elected, shit would definitely be much better. Oh well. Hopefully within the next six years I’ll find my way out of this country if it doesn’t turn itself around. Otherwise we’re going to see some real suffering, mega-depression style. No one will be safe. Not even if your stock market shit is in order. At this rate, not only will we be poor as fuck and unable to live anywhere remotely desireable, but our kids will REALLY be fucked.

What is there to do? Well, here’s my solution, and I got it from an anti-drug campaign:

Buy drugs! The money you spend on them goes straigt to terrorists! And you know what terrorists are trying to do, right? Fuck shit up. I want to fuck shit up too, and I’m gonna do it by getting fucked up.

America - Fuck Yeah.

Over the years I’ve come to realize something, I’m better than every other person I’ve ever met. I’m smarter than them, more attractive than them, wittier than them, and just generally better in every way. Sure there might be some lucky soul out there who’s better than me, but I seriously doubt it. I mean, I’m Anthrax Tao. It doesn’t get any sweeter than that. No offense intended to the rest of you, I’m just stating a fact. So read my shit cuz its the most interesting, definitely more interesting than the crappy shit the rest of these whiney losers keep crapping of out their fingers and onto your eyeballs. Save your brain from word-shit, read me and you’ll never go wrong; try to be like me and you’ll become a better person. These are valuable life lessons.

Anthrax out!