Look into your futur; are you going to die in a moment? If your answer no:
Put a gun to your head and pull the trigger.
If you are master of the universe a or if you put faith in Quantum Immortality, you will surely survive. Go ahead and pull the trigger.
What happened? The gun misfired? Was it luck or was it fate?
You fire the same shot at the wall, and sure enough it doesn’t misfired twice…this must be fate, no?
If the experiment is under fate’s control, then I can jump off a building and be assured that I’ll survive the fall, because today is not my time to die.
I’m a super hero who can test all limits, because I only die at the time of the my death and never before. I act without fear of death because I can feel my future, and the feeling of death is a long way off. It is there nonetheless, but it’s down the road.
In the same way, I am an asshole to the girl that I am going to marry. She has a boy friend and is love with another, but she’s mine so I can be as big a dick to her as I so please. Ha! I can even attempt suicide without consequence. I won’t die, I can’t die because I haven’t made her my wife yet.
I’m establishing a supreme confidence. I cannot lose. Remember that when you try and bring me down.
In order to be master of the the universe, you first have to convince yourself that you are master of the universe. How can it be true if you don’t believe it? The highest truth is nothing but my belief. I am supreme judge, and master of the universe.
Tell me I’m wrong, and you’ll only prove to me that I’m right.

Materialism and consumerism lead to depression.
This depression is caused by the replacement of contentment with desire.
One must be totally unattatched, limited not only to his or her possessions.
Once you really let go of everything you can describe as yourself having, then you will be free from desire and content.

Nike dunks are sick.

Where does one draw the line? Raise your hand if you read Siddhartha…
My earlobes are stretched almost all the way to the ground.

All of existence is non-simultaneously apprehended interacting processing.

All of existence is infinite regression.

All of existence is.

Infinity.

Therefore…
All of non-existence is not? Or is it?

It is a generally accepted fact time seems to get faster as one gets older, perhaps the explanation for this lies in the theory of relativity. According to relativity, nothing is absolute and all judgments of measurement (length etc.) are based upon comparisons (an inch is shorter than a foot, but what’s an inch by itself?). One’s life is all the time one knows and thus is the only basis of comparison for making a judgment on the length of time. So when you’re 1, a month is 8% of your entire life, and hence seems to be a very long period of time. But when you’re 20 a month is only .4% of your life and thus seems much shorter than it did when you were young. This would account for why time seems to get faster as you get older, each individual moment seems less compared to how long you’ve lived.

When you die and your life is complete, you have only lived a lifetime. You have nothing to compare it to so it is simply a lifetime in length. A child who dies, a teenager, an adult, they all lived a lifetime. To each individual the length of existence seems the same, because it is all the time that they’ll ever know. It is total and complete. It is a lifetime.

There are two exclusive possibilities at this point:

1) stay with girl. have dependable relationship. have love when it cannot be found anywhere else. remain closed off to other possibilities.

2) break up with girl. enter uncertain world of greater possibilities. open myself up more to the school that I am attending.

i went back and forth on this for a long time, then finally settled into being comfortable in the relationship. however, the thought came up again yesterday while we were together. I haven’t been able to shake it.

is the fact that I am still going back and forth enough to make change happen?

I like the comfort that this relationship provides, but when I think about the future in any regard, I get scared about the possibility of still being in this position, not having let things change with time.

What is the taoist approach to this? I’ve been trying to decide.

THE NEXT DAY-

I think I have decided what the taoist approach is, and I agree with it. The answer is to practice not doing, to be patient, like eternity, and allow events to take their course. I must remember these things! I think it’s funny upon reflection that I continually go in and out of accordance with the Tao. I think I do it subconsciously, just so that I can be satisfied again and again by the wisdom of the Tao. It replenishes me, I forget about it or am distracted from it, then I use it to get myself out of depression and angst. It works every time.