we program ourselves into our children. each generation is just creating new vessels for, and versions of, themselves. and the more creative* we are the more people there are. and the more destructive we are the less people there are. this is the way of things

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*the word “creative” is used here in the literal form (as in to create) and should be stripped of all it’s positive connotations. the same applies to the word “destructive.”

January 16, 2009.
Wes Crew was working at the S.E.T.I. institute’s radio telescope in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. It was 5:23 am when all the machines started going crazy. Wes awoke from his catnap.

“What the hell?” he thought to himself, “Probably just another military spy plane.”

Meanwhile, back in America…
Much had happened in the past ten days. Gerry Briar asked congress to grant him temporary control of the country until the situation was resolved. Congress was under republican control, and they granted him the power he so desired. Of course someone sued the government claiming that their right to a fair democratic election had been violated.

Smith vs. The United States of America went before the supreme court on January 15, 2009. Briar, having appointed 2 of the justices, and most of the rest being republicans, won the case. Many Americans were unhappy with this ruling, they felt that their rights had been violated. There were the makings of a serious uproar, but a huge distraction occurred the next day that dominated the news: first contact with an alien race had occurred. We were not alone in the universe.

People on earth didn’t know how to react. Everyone went nuts, this was the biggest news story ever. The coverage was round the clock. Headlines saying “WE ARE NOT ALONE” were on the front page of every newspaper in the world (on page two, in small type, you could find “Briar to Maintain Power”). The message was indecipherable; was it a stray alien T.V. signal? Or perhaps an intentional message beamed out into the stars in the hopes of finding some other life form, someone else to talk to. What ever it was it was nearly indisputed as originating from an alien life form.

The signal was coming from Albireo, a double star system 385 light years away. We didn’t know yet what they were saying, but the Alberians were talking to us.

chocolate mousse
hand of zeus
you’re obtuse
go fuck yourself
fin

It had been a long, dirty campaign. Henrietta Rhodes Crenshaw had fought a tough battle against Jebediah Brier. Jebidiah was the brother of Gerry Brier, the current president. Their family had something of a modern American dynasty going on. Gerry Brier senior had been president for four years. He was the predecessor to Bob Crenshaw, Henrietta’s husband. He was president for eight years. It’s a little disturbing how all the presidents of the past 20 years came from only two families, and the next four were to as well. They claimed it was a democracy but it was clearly not so. Only the rich and powerful were elected, the system was corrupt. But I digress. Henrietta had won the election, she was to be the first female president in the history of the United States, and Bob was to be the first first man.

Henrietta Rhodes Crenshaw was dead eight weeks later. She was killed along with her running mate. They were at a celebratory rally and a bomb went off, killing 8 people and wounding 42 others. People suspected the republicans, and indeed the evidence might have been incriminating had the FBI bothered to conduct a real investigation. The official word from the Brier administration was that it was a cowardly act of terrorism.

People weren’t sure what to do, no law had been written for this contingency. The president and vice-president elect had been killed two weeks before inauguration day. All the people who were supposed to be next in line were appointed officials, and none of them had been officially appointed yet. The country was in chaos. No one knew who was going to be in charge after January 20th. But the date was fast approaching and a decision had to be made…

“Have I ever told you about the Gaia theory?” asked Dion as he passed the hash pipe.

“No,” said Wes. He took an enormous hit and passed the pipe back to Dion.

“In the 1960s James Lovelock was a freelance consultant for NASA. They asked him to help them come up with methods for determining if life existed on other planets.” Dion paused to finish what was left in the bowl. “This is some mighty good hash”, he thought, “better finish the story before I’m incapable of telling it.” He continued speaking, “So anyway, Lovelock thought about this and came up with a more general view of life. He came up with a test based on the fact that all living organisms extract nutrients from their environment, chemically alter them, and leave behind waste products. Naturally a good sign of this activity was a complex atmosphere filled with reactive gasses like oxygen and methane.”

Wes interrupted, “Did you know that cow farts are contributing to the ozone hole?”

“Please don’t interrupt me Wes,” Dion replied with an authoritative tone.

“Sorry,” said Wes, slightly ashamed.