Who do you believe?

Yourself? That’s bullshit.

What do you know that I don’t know? So I’m going to make things simple.

A truck full of consciousness is driving down the highway and it gets hijacked by a devious set of brains looking for cheap thrills. Turns out the brains had been soaking themselves in formaldehyde all day so their driving skills were a little below par. The truck crashes into a tree and the brains get thrown into the back of the truck. Lights and explosions and shit started going off all over the place as some monkeys dropped the fuck out of the tree. The monkeys started dancing with the brains and turned that shit into a dance club. Eventually the monkeys got tired and the brains, sensing weakness ate the each of those motherfucking monkeys in one bite. Then the truck caught on motherfucking FIRE! and those brains burned and burned and burned until there was nothing left. And that is how humans lost their cosmic car keys.

How do I know this?

Because I was there asshole, sad story right?

So don’t give me any of your shit about what you think you know because I know better then that.

I was there. So fuck off.